I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.
— Empire Records
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More reasons of why my mother is a crazed bitch

-actually got pissed that I called my grandmother in the hospital because then she was too tired to talk to my mother when she called

- refers to my grandma as ‘my mother’ to show me that she was there first therefore loves her more

- became upset with me because I was crying about my grandmother

- she is a redhead.

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Holiday Parties should never be on a Thursday

  • Chick Lawyer: Where are you going!?
  • Me: I have to go home, its 11 and I’ve been drinking since 3!
  • Chick Lawyer: But we are all going out! Come and drink with us!
  • Me: Unlike you, I have to be at work at 730am so I cant.
  • Chick Lawyer: PUSSY
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You would think lawyers would know not to put beer in the freezer.

You would think lawyers would know not to put beer in the freezer.

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The Set Up

  • Coworker: I want you to meet my son tonight
  • Me (in head-“the dreamy one?): Oh yeah?
  • CW: not like setting you up or anything. You two would get along great
  • CW: …you know, be friends
  • CW: and if it happens to be friends with benefits, so be it!
  • Me: ok then, I will try and put out to your son then.
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Tropic of Cancer

“For a hundred years or more the world, our world, has been dying. And not one man, in these last hundred years or so, has been crazy enough to put a bomb up the asshole of creation and set it off. The world is rotting away, dying piecemeal. But it needs the coup de grace, it needs to be blown to smithereens. Not one of us is intact, and yet we have in us all the continents and the seas between the continents and the birds of the air. We are going to put it down — the evolution of this world which has died but which has not been buried.”- Henry Miller

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….and it struck me then that I liked Sean because he looked, well, slutty. A boy who’d been around. A boy who couldn’t remember if he was Catholic or not.
— rules of attraction
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trimylus:

The name speaks for itself. Drink it!

 and its 9% abv! holy sheet!

trimylus:

The name speaks for itself. Drink it!

 and its 9% abv! holy sheet!

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Ever hear a song...

hrrrthrrr:

and you can automatically see a video because of it. I just heard that song. I’m going to work on that video.

Inspiration has been practically punching me in the face lately.

 totally! when I was younger my family and I would drive to the beach (a 2 hour drive) and we would listen to random songs and I would imagine what type of video would play along to it. I still like to do this on the bus with my ipod.

Reblogged from hrrrthrrr
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alancassinelli:

This is depressing
via oregonlive.com

 totally sad…

alancassinelli:

This is depressing

via oregonlive.com

 totally sad…

Reblogged from Scraps and Scribbles
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dreamweaver:caosconqueso:blinkerbeat:



MENTIRA?MENTIRA?MENTIRA?THIS IS HEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

o_o
is this real life?

Uh, Kay?

 shit. I just shit my pants… holy shit

dreamweaver:caosconqueso:blinkerbeat:

MENTIRA?
MENTIRA?
MENTIRA?
THIS IS HEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

o_o

is this real life?

Uh, Kay?

 shit. I just shit my pants… holy shit

Reblogged from Dreamweaver
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gpoyw- how many patterns can I wear?!
answer: three

gpoyw- how many patterns can I wear?!

answer: three

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I like that (boys name) gains a few pounds since high school and your ears perk with interest
— molly points out my type
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