Malty

o_O weird mouse face

My post-it note confession

Hey Hangover

I gave you water and advil and you still proceed to hurt my head and insides. You have left me no choice then to smoother you with triple soy lattes and cheddar bagles.

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I’m a sucker for big hair

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“

If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

— fight club

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three50eight:

coffee!

Reblogged from dongle extraordinaire

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My tights are not fitting me correctly and I feel like I’m five, with the crotch of the tights working its way down to my knees and now I’m walking like a pengiun. not a cute pengiun either

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I have a friend who is a ho. Scratch that, she’s not my friend. She is just a girl who I know through people who hangs out with us far too much, which is weird because we never call her, she just shows up. Well this chick sleeps with anything that will have her and for those who don’t want her, she gets them wasted, tells them about her lack of gag reflex and BAM they go home with her.

Chick and I just got into a fight recently about why I don’t bring my ‘boys’ around for her to meet. 1. gross 2. fear they will get something from her 3. boys are NOT a pot luck. I do not bring them places to share with others and if I do bring them around, treat them like an amazing pair of shoes: compliment me on them, say you wished you had some like that and move on.

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Hey country song that I’m being forced to listen to by my coworker…

No girl has ever taught a tracker was sexy.

ugh

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holy moses, eggnog lattes are back…. and so is my fat ass

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yes.

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Jubelale, you are one of my favorite parts about winter

Brewed by:
Deschutes Brewery
Oregon, United States

Style: Winter Warmer
ABV: 6.70% ABV

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drunk love

My mother told me she loved me this weekend. I believed her because she was drunk. Wait, maybe I was drunk. no no no, WE were drunk and drunk love between a mother and a daughter is a bond that nothing can break… until we sober up.

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